To Write Love on Her Arms
“Everything will be okay in the end… if it’s not okay, it’s not the end”
My Dearest Friend,
Please pick up the phone. I beg of you to just give me some kind of signal that you are okay. Your phone call to me this morning has me tremendously worried. We have been on this ledge a time or two and as I held your hand I was able to talk you down before you tested fate and took that leap. But today was different. The urgency and pain in your voice was so thick it was palpable. Your tears stung my face as you cried and sobbed calculating how to get out of this hamster wheel of misery you have endured over the course of your entire life. I hope that I am not too late and my words reach you before you do the unfathomable. I did not have the words at the time. For the life of me I could not think of how to make this better for you. I offered you what little I had to give but you seemed to not hear me. I hope you can still hear me.
You are NOT the only one whose heart has been shattered into oblivion time and time again.
You are NOT the only who is wearing a lifetime’s worth of anguish on their sleeves.
You are NOT alone when you bury your face into your pillow at night and cry yourself to sleep.
You are NOT the only who has lost faith in humanity because you feel like everyone has fled and you are utterly alone in your despair.
You are NOT alone my friend.
I know all too well what it feels like to walk on this delicate tightrope we call life. I understand what it feels like to scream at the top of your lungs desperately calling out for someone, somebody, anyone to come to your rescue before you lose your balance and begin to freefall. I feel your pain as you yearn for somebody to reach out to you.
To support you.
To love you unconditionally.
To tell you how beautiful you are.
To show you how much they value your very existence.
To hold you so tight and never ever let you go.
To admire your strength and tenacity for continuing to fight even when you are riddled by sheer exhaustion.
To be accepted as nothing more, nothing less than simply you.
To have someone breathe life back into you.
You are NOT alone. Rescue is possible. Find the ability to forgive yourself. This is not your fault. Break the chains that are tying you to the ground. Liberate yourself from this viscious cycle of abuse and self injury so you can come back from the depths of hell to rise above the ground. Your pain is real. But hope and help are also very real. Don’t let this be the end of your story. This is not your time. However it is time for recovery. I’m not giving up on you so I beg you to not give up on yourself.
You deserve to see what better days lie ahead of you. Love yourself. Help yourself. Just don’t hurt yourself.
Pick up the phone.